| Assistant Gift Bitch named Helga |
[Jun. 4th, 2004|07:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lyle Lovett and his Big Band ( compliments of Anya) | ] |
Guess what? I'm back and meaner than ever....I've been kicking myself for not writing about my boastful life.
I'm at the bookstore around 4-5 days..
I've realized these things:
1) I need to slow down. Bigtime.
2) The bookstore sucks more than a fat woman eating a popsicle.
3)Money will never "appear"
4) People with British accents are always assumed to be smarter.
Therefore, I will now talk in a Masterpiece Theatre-esque accent so that Ann Arbor people don't undermine my intelligence.
A few days ago a woman came into the store who looked like she was from the Michigan Malitia. She had a full camo jacket and appeared very rough. She also had really heavy BOOTS on.
Natalie was at the upstairs computer with me and the woman approached us. She asked for books on "edibles". We both looked at her waiting for her to continue. Natalie replied "Oh, so Cookbooks?" and the womans expression turned into a nasty snarl, then she said "NO, EDIBLES"...I said, "Well there sure are a lot of things that are edible; are you reffering to things that are crawling or plants mam?"
She wasn't happy with me either. I didn't really care at this point. At least I can finish my sentences and don't ask for vague things...
Also, the same night, there was this man who asked for "Hobbies". I asked him what kind and he responded. "YOU KNOW, HOBBIES!" I then added "OH, Collectibles?" and then he was like "CHRIST NO!" "YOU KNOW! GUNS!!!" and then made an air gun motion with his finger and said "bang bang!".
Today I waited on a woman who appeared to be Donna Sommers. I kept looking at her like she might start humming "It's raining men".
I just ate some Shrimp Tortellini via Natalie and Chad and it was very very good. My tummy is very happy. |
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